Which way to go?

Hallehluja it is FridayJ! Even though I still have to work all weekend the fact that it is Friday keeps me one foot above ground. Weather has been generous providing us with sun and warm. And I haven’t had to force myself to write something. I sit down and words just flow taking me to places I didn’t consider to go. My novel have reached a point where it just comes out but something in emotional level doesn’t add up so I’m thinking about going back to my sketch board or read more about plotting.

 My characters do something unexpected and not sure if I should let the carry on or try to move them in another direction. Or maybe it is just me realizing that April is knocking on my doors and again I’m wondering in which direction I ‘m heading. However, I have hit my 12 000 words. It seems like nothing it is like one tenth from a novel but it is as far as I have got with one of my ideas. And I’m still determinate to stick with it.

I just finished a memoir “No Easy Road” by Patsy Whyte. Deep and moving as I find most of memoirs. I like to read them because I don’t know a better way to get into people’s heads understand what they are feeling and thinking, what drives them. The language is really nice too. Ending even though very good written- left me unsettled. I was waiting to see life turning around, sun shining, hope rising instead it left with m with going into unknown. But then again life tends to be this way- with no certainty. Definitely good book to read if not for writing reasons then for simple humanity. How much harm can do us not knowing…

Anyway for those who do read my posts, thanks for that! I appreciate it! J 

P.S. Photo by my little sister http://photographycmm.blogspot.com/

Swinging boat

                Last year I posted a blog about finding your missing piece. It came in mind today when I read a comment from Debra ( Thank you!), when I read her kind words it was that pitch moment that awards you work for, what you try to do and it gives a heads up to continue.

I’m kind a newbie in a world of writing mostly because I was scared to admit who I really am. I always looked at other writers and it seems so easy for them- how can they? Writing is a swinging boat. How can they risk everything? I lived in shadow of my fathers business like rising and a whole bunch of people telling me in face that I don’t have the guts or that writing everything down is bullshit or that your writing suck’s (coming from my Latvian teacher in high school). So I played safe and almost convinced me that it is not me! Almost...

Me living abroad and self- discovery have brought me back around to writing. Now I got myself together, I’m putting everything on line just like those other writers. And I don’t have a backup plan. My heart sings when it takes in the words and creates other ones. I’m safe to say – I have come out of this darkness. And now I have the guts to face all my challenges.

These last couple of months when I have really dedicated myself to writing I have discovered a whole new world. I’ve read lots of help articles, blogs, I’m a huge fan of Fundsforwriters.com, (and I just started Hope’s Lowcountry bribe) and with every new peace of reading I take in my writing world.

 get’s bigger and bigger! I discover people who are on the same page as I am. And suddenly loneness becomes a state of mind.

But takings are all about giving back! I will try my best to show the support for others as well.

I have olso got over my "frozen moment" in writing my novel and made it (a little painfully though) trough 1000 words. The thing about these 1000 words is that they feel like I have climbed a mountain. Feels so good! Now when the ice is broken- I cannot wait for the next week together with my characters!:)

By the way those who love Tv series “Criminal minds” would enjoy these short stories by RossGardiner.

And make sure to check out: www.fundsforwriters.com 

When ducks starts to shoot...

So, I haven't posted anything for like, well, forever. I've been dying to, but every time I wrote a post I realized that my grammar sucks and I should correct it, so I put it off for later. Frankly later never comes and those posts age. On February 25 I started my first novel -like really started it. I decided that I won’t stop or edit it until the first draft is ready. It is a story I've been friends with for a long time. I made an outline and characters’ profiles a while ago. I had everything, so why not? Why sit in the dark scared that you are not good enough, wait for the moment when your writing is in its perfection? Perfection won’t come without few bruises and bumps. And anyway for me this story is about forcing myself to finish it. Since I do have some commitment issues and those who write novels know that that’s exactly what it is- a big commitment. 

This process is like falling in love (or at least that’s how I imagine it to be) and being in a strong relationship. It is a game of trust- you will have to trust your characters to reveal who they are, respect them by being there for them- drumming the keyboard every single day. It actually is so funny, because my characters started to live by themselves after only 5000 words. Is that’s why it is so worth it?

I got my first bump a week ago. My full time job had a tough week- long hours, stress and complications + no weekend off for 3 straight weeks. And I can go on with excuses like that. And all  week I just couldn't pull myself together, only got more angry with myself, others… and eventually everything. Yesterday I got kicked in the pants. Here's how that happened and I'm only telling this because it might work for others too.

I wanted to change my life rapidly and get myself into writing process 100% last October. Because life put me on the stand and asked me: "What the hell do YOU WANT FROM YOUR LIFE?" Yup, and don't get me wrong, she screamed. Accidentally I came across a book "Writing down your soul: How to Activate and Listen to the Extraordinary Voice Within" by Janet Conner. http://www.writingdownyoursoul.com This book is incredible in so many levels. The idea is to write a journal to "get in touch" with your inner voice. I started to write journal to work on my ability to write, fight some demons but most importantly to train myself of becoming a consistent writer. 

Every entry starts with: "Dear ... " And you fill in the blank. I used Journal as an address. Once even God, because I felt deeply spirited and guided. So last week I have been very unproductive and not a word have been written. In a burst of frustration I took my Journal and without thinking I wrote: "Dear ME! You haven't been writing so long!" In shock and in a funk I pulled my arm away. I had hit the nail straight on the head. SO, I ended up creating a dialog between me and the strong-deep-inside-me. Sounds schizophrenic but it worked. Suddenly I had to answer to myself. And I had no excuses or place to hide. My inside me new everything; it felt pointless to lie. I was naked in front of my biggest judge. 

Today I took my computer and instantly opened my usual articles on writing and started this blog. Well, it definitely kicked me back on track so maybe we should try the other way around? Who says we have to shoot ducks?